I feel like the Sunday Blues. Sitting here at the airport, waiting for my connecting flight back to my very own beloved, frozen Toronto ... It's been a week, or maybe even longer that I got the blues ... It's like a disease ...
the funny thing? -> I was on vacation all along, warm and cozy!
No I'm not a depressed little girl waiting for an excuse to sit and cry, trying to find a reason to feel sorry for myself; although I admit I do sound like one right now ... but trust me, it's not me, it's the blues, it's the disease ...
You'd think it's natural: I'm going home from a long break; it's only natural to feel this way ... but guess what? I don't think it is, coz I've been feelin' like this for at least about as long as half of my trip length! It was a bad trip I guess ... But it had it's good moments too. Actually lots of great moments.
I learned a looootttt. I practically grew up, I grew older. I did. Only I can't write about what I learned ... it's the kinda lesson one could only learn through experience ... it's the kind you can't really describe? I don't know ...
But I did learn a lot ... I'm just yet to figure this last feeling out and I'm good to go ...
I should at least be happy that I'm going home, but I'm really not ... I guess it's not the kinda return one would need after this kinda trip ... I mean I wish I could at least go home and be alone, and think in private ... I'm longing for the kinda home where there's no need for me to hide my feelings ... where it's OK to NOT talk ... where it's OK to be ME without having to worry about anything else ... where it's OK to be comfortably mute ...
I think there's a point in everyone's life, where they actually need to build their own little home in their own little world ... at least I feel I've reached this point ... and the lessons I learned this past month are really going to help me in what I'm going to build for myself ... and I guess I'm thankful for that!
No comments:
Post a Comment